Synapse DVD release
The Nail Gun Massacre, Bill Leslie/Terry Lofton, USA, 1985, 90 mins, Synapse.
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Nail Gun Massacre was a movie that I somehow missed out on (regrettably) for a couple decades before finally checking it out, via the great Synapse dvd release. Synapse Films is essentially the Criterion of obscure but much beloved genre movies. With the Nail Gun Massacre dvd, there are some fun features, which I will get into later. But for now, I must discuss this awesomely "so bad it's good" charmer of a no budget 80's slasher... Well, slasher by way of a nail gun. First, it's best to see what fearsome opponent the denizens of the small town are up against: A menacing 5-foot tall, motorcycle helmet-wearing, camo-fatigued, backpack with yellow springy tubing-attached nail gun wielding, redneck-accented, one-liner spouting merchant of death to all who have wronged/raped a girl and need to be punished (or are just getting it on, and on, and on.) It requires such a run-on to fully grasp just what the Hell we're watching. My advice: With this gem of a film, beer=hilarity. This could fit alongside Troll 2 etc. as a movie so poorly made, that you can treat it as an unintentional comedy. Therefore, see this review as heartfelt praise, rather than me knocking everything wrong with it. On that note, to mention everything indeed wrong with this flick would require gigabytes of text, so I will try to Cliff's Note it. If you're into maximum cheese one-liners said in redneck drawl, pointless static shots of a man's ass as he bangs a woman against a tree, truly "special" effects, a retarded twist to the already retarded twist you'd expect, bumbling cops who don't bother to move dead bodies when there's eatin' and drivin' to be done, nail gun fights, short non-threatening antagonists in poorly made costumes, etc... this is more bang for your hilarity entertainment buck than I can cover in this condensed review. You will see scene after scene of unscripted dialogue, then a long drawn out scene where a store owner actually has her script (they had it, but didn't bother to use it the entire shoot?) in full view on the counter, checking her lines out one by one before delivery, only to look into the camera once finished. The tiny killer poses zero threat, and people literally just stand there as he/she/it (wouldn't want to ruin the surprise!!!!) takes their aim, letting out a "Bwoohoohohoahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!" you'll only hear about 50 times. There is added genius in the disc's special features, where you can see the director give away his "Bet you never could have figured out how we did this!" secrets. You can tell he truly had a good time making his movie, albeit such a shitfest. All in all, I can say after viewing the trailer, you'll KNOW if this is for you or not. You'll see what I mean. personal taste: 10 out of 10. It's a guaranteed hilarious good time with this flick and your favorite booze-type drink. PURCHASE THE DVD AND VIEW THE TRAILER HERE: Synapse site with DVD info & trailer - Reviewed by Dane Bowling |
